Friday 27 December 2013

Do you know what I mean?

Firstly a Merry post-Christmas to you all! I hope you all are in a similar sugar/salt induced coma to the one I am currently wallowing on my sofa. So, since the previous post, lots has happened!

Let's start with the not so great stuff first. Just had a screaming match with a member of my family over the telephone. Well, not exactly screaming but it ended with them telling me to fuck off and hanging up. I am not going to name the person in question but we have been through many years of a difficult relationship- years that I have fought to keep a relationship going with this person. Again, I am not going to go into the particulars of these difficulties as they are in the past but every now and then the testing behaviour rears its ugly head and we're back to the awkwardness. I stood up for myself having been accused of being a liar, a disorganised mess and got told to fuck off for it. There was an issue with a birthday present that I had made for the person in question- a blown up canvas print of a particular print from our wedding photos. It is utterly stunning and looks like it should be used for a tourism photo of Greenwich, however when I received the print back, the colours were distorted- fluorescent instead of stained glass window colours, so I sent it back and apologised to person x for not having it in time for their birthday. When I spoke to person x today, I gave them the date that I would be able to pick the present up to let them know that it was being sorted at which point they accused me of the above. How many times should you allow someone to treat you like this before you actually say enough? Is having a relationship with them, worth the constant fear of their temper and attitude?

The person in question is meant to be coming tomorrow morning, so we'll see whether they turn up and how they behave then. At least it will be on my territory- my house, my rules.

Happier but slightly scary news, I had a lovely telephone call from my GP this evening, just before the close of practice. They had finally heard back from Greenwich who said that Guys would be the people funding the PGD treatment (it's all become centralised rather than all over the place) and that we hit all of the criteria for the funding, which is amazeballs. Mainly because we had already been told by Guys that they would be waiting for the phone call from us to start treatment and that backs up what they'd said. You never quite know if you're being told the whole truth or not and since in the past year, I've moved houses and GPs through all the treatment, it's nice to see the dots connecting. My GP hadn't however realised that we had been to see Guys in the past year for a consultation (mainly to explain why it happens to P but realistically no more than a bureaucratic wank) so obviously there are some missing letters but Guys will have a copy of the one sent to us and it'll be in my folder of doom (several inches thick just for the genes).

I also apologised to my nan today. Harvey, my mum's dog had his hydrotherapy today and my step-dad had to take him for his session (I can't remember if I mentioned that he totally mashed up his leg whilst on holiday in Devon... Going senile!) and so I popped over to chat to my nan who has been up celebrating the holidays with us. She's utterly amazing and I love her very dearly but over the past year's events, I stopped calling her. Not because of anything that she did or said but because I couldn't think of speaking to her without bursting into tears- I never had anything happy to say to her and felt like I was letting her down by not having anything positive to say. I also didn't want to upset her with my rubbishness and inability to stop crying when she lives by herself and so far from us. You can't really tell someone bad stuff over the phone, can you? Anyway, we had a catch up today and when we said goodbye, I said sorry for being such a rubbish granddaughter for not calling for ages. It's several months that we won't get back and I've missed her terribly but I refuse to let that happen again. She's my nanny and I shouldn't allow my crap year to destroy what always has been such a lovely relationship.

This is my incredibly clever and beautiful Nanny:


So many highs and lows in one small day. Going to take Max out with P for a refreshing walk to blow the cobwebs and the emotional rollercoaster away. That's if Max wakes up and I can tear P away from FIFA.

Other than today, Christmas has been its normal uneventful calm self, I have been utterly spoilt by the amazing presents bought for me- UGGs, yoga vouchers and a Kobo Arc HD and I have eaten/drunken my weight in alcohol, sugar and salt!
 

No comments: